15) Christian Cullen

It was quite a thrill in the early days of my career to play against some legends who I had grown up watching. Christian Cullen was perhaps the best runner I had ever seen. Incredible acceleration, top end speed and an ability to side step at full pace. It was indeed an honour to be sidestepped by him without me even laying a finger on him when we played the Barbarians in 2004, when he was probably quite far past his prime.

14) Alessana Tuilagi

Wingers just shouldn’t be this big. Part of the famous Tuilagi family and probably the fastest of the lot. I remember playing against Samoa at Murrayfield and him using me as a speed bump. During the post match analysis, head coach at the time Frank Hadden said “Now Chris, I didn’t really expect you to stop him, but I thought you might at least have slowed him down”. Quite, Frank. I’d like to see you try.

13) Tana Umaga

I grew up watching Tana Umaga play on the wing and then transition to centre later in his career. He led the All Blacks to a comfortable victory over the British and Irish Lions in 2005 and whilst Dan Carter usually got the headlines, I’m not sure I ever saw Tana Umaga play a bad game.

New Zealand great Tana Umaga, who “never had a bad game”

12) Yannick Jauzion

I don’t think I knew they made centres this big until I had to play against him. He’s the sort of player that people might describe as a ‘Rolls-Royce’. He made everything look easy. I’m still not quite sure how you are meant to tackle him and stop him offloading. Most people never figured it out either to be fair.

11) Napolioni Nalaga

I played against Napolioni when I was at Perpignan and he was at Clermont and also in the international arena with Fiji. He probably played his best rugby at Clermont in a team that played expansive rugby and got him the ball in lots of space so he perhaps isn’t as well known as some of his Fijian counterparts but it’s worth a look at his highlights reel on YouTube. A nightmare to play against. Pace, power and a sidestep to make you weep.

10) Frederik Michalak

I’m not sure there are many cooler cats than Frederik Michalak to have worn the French number 10 (and number 9) jersey. Impossibly talented. Annoyingly good looking. French insouciance personified. He may not be mentioned up there as one of the GOATs but I loved watching him play and he really could do it all. Even Wayne Barnes couldn’t bring himself to award a forward pass against Michalak in the 2007 World Cup quarter-final..

France’s Frederic Michalak getting close attention from Jim Hamilton, 2013

9) Fourie Du Preez

I think he put in some of the best scrum half performances I’ve ever seen during the 2007 World Cup. His performance against England in the group stages was masterful. He could do it all – kick, pass, run, tackle. Played against him only once and sadly I didn’t last too long due to an injury but we swapped shirts after and I feel fortunate to have had the chance to play against him.

Scotland’s David Denton is tackled by South African scrum-half Fourie du Preez, 2013

1) Martin Castrogiovanni

A slightly crazy (aren’t all tighthead props a little?) and highly influential stalwart of the Italian teams of the mid 2000s. A bit of a wildman off the pitch too, so they say. Received the man of the match award against us as they gave us a torrid time in Rome in 2004.

2) John Smit

Seems like the perfect gentleman. Phenomenal rugby player. Smart, articulate and an excellent leader. A trophy cabinet full of all the biggest trophies in rugby.

3) Thomas Domingo

A physique that could best be described as ‘bowling ball-esque’, I used to love watching him run over people with the ball in hand. His centre of gravity sat somewhere around 30cm off the ground. Go high and you’d be swatted aside by some very powerful arms. Go low and you’d be doing backward rolls and wondering whether your shoulder would ever get any feeling back again.

Scotland’s Max Evans is challenged by Thomas Domingo in Paris, 2013

4) Bakkies Botha

A terrifying hulk of a man who played in the dominant Springboks sides of my era. He had the farm strength that all Afrikaaners seem to have, alongside an astute rugby brain and a penchant for a bit of thuggery, it must be said.

5) Victor Matfield

A bit more of a nuanced player than Botha but equally terrifying and impressive in equal measure. A master lineout technician and another incredibly durable and tough Afrikaaner.

6) Thierry Dusautoir

His performance in the Rugby World Cup final in 2011 must go down as one of the greatest of all time. Top 3 tacklers of all time, surely. An absolute gentleman too. What a player.

Scotland’s Alex Dunbar (centre) is brought down by Thierry Dusautoir, 2015

7) Richie McCaw

During the 2007 World Cup pool game, we took on the All Blacks at Murrayfield. I remember at one point the ball came shooting out the back of the scrum and I had to dive on it and try to keep hold of it until support arrived. Before I even knew what had happened, McCaw had pinched the ball, stolen my lunch money and tied my shoe laces together. I did get my revenge later in the game when I caught him man and ball off a kick off with one of my hardest tackles. Although he has never mentioned it to anyone ever, I’m sure he still thinks about it to this day.

8) Sergio Parisse

A supremely talented athlete and rugby player who showed remarkable endurance and persistence for Italy throughout the 2000s. He only retired in 2023 which is quite a feat. Fluent in Italian, Spanish, French, English. Tall. Handsome. Nothing to be jealous of there!